Since we've started down this road let's just go crazy!

Fishing nearly happened on Sunday (yesterday), but once again, I had prior plans.

Don't look at me like that... I wish I could tell you these prior plans left me feeling giddy with those first flushes of attraction. No.  That would be lying.

So... I was directly messaged by this chap I follow on the instagram.  I like his pictures, very honest, good appreciation of symmetry etc etc. He also added me on twitter, or did I add him.  Doesn't matter.  We started directly messaging each other.  Good sense of humor, doesn't take himself too seriously, well spoken.  Physical attributes, not bad looking, not the tallest person in Nigeria but as you well know, I am an equal opportunity lover.  We make plans to see Saro the musical (which was the BUSINESS!).  My bestie and I were going to go anyway so it was a safe bet for meeting an absolute stranger.

First impressions?  Shy, super laid back, laughs easily (you would be surprised by how many guys find it difficult to laugh at something that is actually funny).  I would even go as far as to say there was some flirting going on on my end at least during the show.  You know what's coming don't you...  So the show ends and it comes to the time where we part.  He walks me over to the car park and then the most awkward parting ceremony ever to be witnessed by man kind! Was it going to be a hug, a pat, or a semi peck on the cheek.  None happened successfully, so he sort of ran off promising that he would call, or was it that he would message or we would see... I am not even sure anymore.

Where did I go wrong Lord... all he needed to do to salvage the sitation was to send a simple message asking if I got home ok and that he had a nice time.  After which he could loose my number if he wished, block me on twitter, instagram and everything else.

HE DID NOT SEND A TEXT.

I don't have a list of rules I follow regarding this dating malarkey.  Just simply, do unto others as you would like them to do to you.  So what do I do?  The next day, I ask (text)  him if he got home ok and if he had a good time.  He responds immediately with yes and general friendliness.

NO.

I have not calmed down yet so I won't write anymore.  I did manage to call the idiot an idiot to his face today.  As usual he brushed it off as 'this girl and her cray cray'.

Well meaning, but

Suffice to say... fishing did not happen.

Onwards and upwards.  A couple of months ago, a married, scratch that, newly married friend decided to give my number to a male friend of hers who is a 'nice guy'.  I can see you rolling your eyes, let me at least finish the story.  Yes, she gave this man, lets call him B my number and the guy texted me.  He lives out in Saudi Arabia... now you are gufawwing like I don't know this sounds ridiculous.  I live in Nigeria.  Anyways... who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?  We've been chatting, and he seems honest, God-fearing, family oriented, laid back, we have similar music and even movie tastes... on paper this is all looking kosher.  I told myself I would give him a chance and we made plans to meet when he would be visiting Nigeria in December.  It is now December people and the beauty of the anonymity of this blog is that this is the first place I can tell the truth about what happened.

1.  The week before the date he called me... I thought it was fishing guy... they sound alike! I eventually realised who it was as we'd never talked on the phone before.  We set up a time to meet.  The first meet had to be canceled due to a family emergency.  No problem.

2. Final day of date, he takes Lagos traffic for granted and arrives late at the cinema.  And his breath stank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He must have eaten something called 'Asun' which is a peppered goat meat concoction that is actually quite tasty, but when you are meeting someone for the first time, NO STRONG SMELLS! Good or otherwise.

3.  Since then we've chatted on and off via text (I'm not having the best of weeks) but he has not called.  More family emergencies.  He isn't lying.  That's just the way it is at the moment.

So how do I feel?  I am not a beleiver in 'sparks' and I confess there were none. With the idiot even when we didn't know each other I knew I was attracted to him, which was why I was giving him a wide berth.  And another thing, we probably won't meet again for him to change his first impression.  And of course, there's the obvious problem.... where would I fit in in the life of a guy who lives in friggin Saudi Arabia. 

If it wasn't my life, I wouldnt believe the things that happen to me either.

Fishing expedition for auction....first time of asking, second time of asking, third?

You probably can't remember this, but a while ago I decided that I was going to go fishing.  Yes, fishing, not for men, not for followers, but for actual honest to goodness, slimy fish.  There are a group of people (I lie, one or two) who fish in Lagos as a hobby and I am going to write about my first experience fishing.  It has already been a failed proposition the first time of asking as I never did get round to meeting up with the lads. Instead I decided to have lunch with by best friend who was very heavily pregnant and getting ready to flee Nigeria, as is the custom for those who can afford it.

The second time of asking, also failed due to the spirit that lives in Lagos known as 'traffic'.  The good men of Lagos have gotten me to the point where I take absolutely everything with two spoons of sugar and some salt.  Why all this heaving and Hoing?... well, there is a boy/ man involved.  We've only talked on the phone a couple of times and let me tell you this... he is uber sexy.  Best part being he laughs heartily and at himself! Meaning my jokes will not go to waste.  We were meant to go out fishing as it were today, but he is supposedly stuck at his factory dealing with contractors and the like.    Well, he could be telling the truth, 2011 author (me) believes that no man that nice sounding on the phone could lie... 2014 author says Meh and smiles.  I make a point of not lying to people... they don't necessarily share my ethos lol.  So... here I am in Cafe Royale whiling away time and hoping that tomorrow... there will be a face and age range attached to said voice and that fish would be caught and it will not rain and I will be my best and charming self.  I am a patient person.