Friday, October 5, 2012

For the love of Pete's dead aunt

There are a few things lacking on this side of the sphere.  One of the biggest ones is 'customer service'.  Africa has enjoyed a sizable communications boom in the last ten years, not least in the vast city of Lagos.  You would think that this would improve the customer experience...er nope.

A couple of months ago, I ordered Chinese from somewhere I had not ordered from in ages.  I can actually see their restaurant from my house (which should give you an idea of how close it is).  3 hours later and multiple phone calls about a dispatch rider getting lost or not being able to find my street bla bla, the chap arrives.  No apology, no extra drink or crisps, he says to me 'madam your house no easy find oh!'  Before I reason out why he may or may not have been hampered by anything.  If you run a delivery business that has a 1 mile ,  I repeat, 1 mile radius (2km for the Americans ish)  SURELY you should know what streets are near by.  My mother was upset that I paid for the meal and said she would have told him to return to his restaurant.  I was just hungry so I let it go and ate my bland rice.  Never ordering from them again.

So today, when I ordered a meal at 12pm and was told it would be with me in 35mins, I was cautiously optimistic it would get here.  I work on a fairly well known street, and the restaurant is less than a mile away from me.  12.45 comes and no  food, 1pm comes and no food.  I call the place and the lady is utterly unhelpful.  'where is the dispatch rider?', I ask. No response.  'Can you hear me?' and she says 'Yes ma, he left since'.  When you have a disgruntled customer, you're supposed to say things like, Oh, I don't know what is happening, sorry, let me call him and get back to you.  My lunch break ended at 1pm so I sneakily asked one of the security guys to get me fast food :(  And I have now broken my diet, tada!

Then the food gets here at 1:15 and I tell the chap that I had called the restaurant and canceled the order.  He had the guile to be snippy at the receptionist!  Tail between legs he returned to base and I get another phone call at 1.30 from the manager of the restaurant who says 'madam, now the cost of the meal will have to be on me'.  Once again, no apology, no pre-amble, no incentivisation.  In my head I am thinking ' you can bloody well sod off!'  In reality, I say, ' well I am sorry to hear that, but my lunch break is now over and I waited for over an hour to get the food, clearly the dispatch rider was able to get to you in under 15 minutes to tell you what happened...'

I do not have a degree in marketing or customer relations, but I have done my fare share of waiting tables and restaurant work (I even worked at the famous Goring where Princess Katherine stayed before the wedding, brilliant friendly place!).  If at any point they seemed remorseful, I would have taken the food.  But when all you are concerned about is that you will have to pay for a meal I have not eaten! Nah.  Fool me once, shame on me.  Fool me twice and well....

In other news, the texting American may be in town soon.  Watch this space.
(and I have violated my anonymity pact by using the above title for this post. Anyone who knows me knows I say that a lot)

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